Elaborate


 * Good writing helps paint a picture in the reader's mind. Check out how students improved a hum-drum, general description by elaborating and trying to appeal to the senses of the readers.**
 * // BLAND SETTING DESCRIPTION: It was a nice fall day in the forest. // ||
 * COLORFUL SETTING DESCRIPTION 1 (by Erikah)**

Crunch, Crunch, Crunch. I walk deeper into the twisty maze of trees through the leaves that blanket the ground. It is quiet for a moment, before the bull frogs start croaking. Bzzzzzzt! SMACK! "Stupid mosquitoes," I mutter to myself as I follow the path deeper into the forest.


 * COLORFUL SETTING DESCRIPTION 2 (by Jessica W.)**

The dew was soaking Josie's socks. "Eeeeeew," she screamed. The leaves were crackling on the trees as she kept walking. Her feet were soaked. "Owwww." Josie had run into a huge, moldy log. She moved on into the forest. She heard a strange noise. Looking back, she saw a strange creature. Running as fast as she could, she moved through the trees. "Clunk." She ran into the tightly packed trunks. "The forest is not the place for me," groaned Josie laying on the ground holding her head.


 * COLORFUL SETTING DESCRIPTION 3 (by Jake)**

I made my way through the fallen leaves. Through the tall trees I could see a squirrel running around. I tried to sneak up on it but it ran away when it heard the crunching leaves. I could feel the sun shining on my face as I walked deeper into the forest.


 * // BLAND CHARACTER DESCRIPTION: The pirate looked awesome. // ||

COLORFUL CHARACTER DESCRIPTION 1 (by Scott)**
 * [[image:Picture10.jpg width="248" height="223" align="right"]]

The pirate was over 10 feet tall. His wore old pants and a torn shirt. An ancient hat sat on his bald head. He carried a pistol and moved very slowly on his wooden leg. His teeth were wormy looking and he had a large mustache.


 * COLORFUL CHARATCER DESCRIPTION 2 (by Riley)**

The pirate captain was chubby and short. Four foot two to be exact. He wore black pants and a red shirt. He had a hook where his left hand should have been. He had a parrot on his shoulder that he called Squawk. "I see land matey," he yelled as he looked through his scope.


 * COLORFUL CHARACTER DESCRIPTION 3 (by Mia)**

"Arghhh!" said the pirate standing in front of me. He was wearing a dark brown hat. He had brown eyes and a big nose. His hair was brown. Me and my friend must have looked scared to death by the expression on the pirate's face. He was wearing a puffy white shirt and brown vest. I looked down and saw his dirty, torn up brown shoes into which were tucked his skin tight grey pants. His six teeth all had metal caps. The smell of his breath was enough to make me puke.


 * COLORFUL CHARACTER DESCRIPTION 4 (by Lawrence)**

"You stink," snarled the pirate. The man was small with a long beard. His cutlass and musket looked too large for him. He was wearing patched clothes and a hat. I wondered whether this little man was the captain? "You'll learn not to stow away in a pirate's ship," he muttered as he led me away. I guess the black and white flag with the Jolly Roger on it should have warned me.